You see, your long haired wonder himself decided to hurl himself off of a bridge in Queestown. What's more, is that he paid to do it, AND have it video-taped! The Pipeline Bridge over Skippers Canyon is 102 metres (340 feet for the metricly impaired) and is New Zealand's tallest bungy jump. As someone might say, I was a tiger who stared death in the face and won. Especially considering that one day after my arrival, and English bloke fell off of another bungy in Skippers Canyon and punctured a lung and broke a few ribs amongst other things (that bungy is only 72 metres). And mere days after I did mine, a Canadian lass fell and snapped her back or something (I think she was abducted by aliens). Both times due to the cord coming unattached from the bridge. But, back to my favourite topic. Me. After a 45 minute land rover ride over the most trecherous road in NZ (and I'm not kidding), we arrived at the Pipeline. Fear was in the air (which is a polite way of saying I'd s**t my pants). First they weigh you in. Of course I was the envy of the group, as I came in lighter than most of the females. Which promptly lead to the biggest beating I've ever had in my life, but that's beside the point. But, due to a communist conspiracy, I was the last to jump. So I had more than enough time to come up with all the calculations to figure out just how much time I'd have to scream "Holy S**t" on the way down. (the answer by the way is 5 holy s**ts!) Then, they call your name, and you sit in this 50 year old dentist chair while they do their thing with you (which coincidentally reminds me of my night in the red light district of Wellington, but that's beside the point). And, as if sent down from the heavens itself, my song came on the CD player. The one song that really pumps me up more than anything else. Copacabana by Barry Manilow. No no, just kidding, it was actually Welcome to the Jungle by Guns n' Roses. I think it's fate. Or perhaps just a coincidence. So, the delightful crew of the Pipeline wrapped a towel around my legs and tied me up (red light district flashbacks again) and informed me it was time to go. Shuffling to the edge I think to myself "just don't look down and you'll be fine. Ooooh, I best watch myself, I'm close to the edge. I'll just look down and make sure my feet are ok . . . . oh s**t. I can't do this!!!" But, (after instructions for the guys), I looked bravely out to the spectators (and the lovely Vicki who took incredible pictures for me) and gave a nice wave. Looking up to the video camera, I said "How's it goin'?" to all those viewing at home (and yes, I did purchase the video--copies available for 2 bits a gander!) and the countdown begun. FIVE "just don't be a panzy" FOUR "you really are a stupid long haired freak you know" THREE "I was born here you know" TWO "You're gonna die here you know. Convenient" Oh wait. That's from a movie! ONE "HAHAHA You're knees have locked and you won't be able to jump" BUNGY O H H H H H G O D D D D ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! +5 holy s**ts (my calculations were correct) Having never felt fear like that in my life I was mighty glad I wore my brown pants that day. But, after a few seconds on the way down, that fear turned to exhileration! What a feeling. I've done it. I've jumped the pipeline. In fact, the first bounce is higher than the ill fated Skippers Canyon bungy too!! Two jumps for the price of . . . . well, mortgaging your house. But hey, no one said it was supposed to be a cheap thrill. In fact, the smile stayed on my face for days! So, there I am, left hanging at the bottom of the bungy waiting for the boat to glide over the Shotover River to come pick me up. Excited more than I've ever been in my life (except for that time I visited the Hard Rock Cafe in Soeul at 2:35--and later at 1:22) I jumped out of the boat to the shore. Pumping my fists and screaming in exhileration, I took off in a run for the stairs. It only took about 30 steps to tire me out when I collapsed panting in the heat. Maybe I'm not ready to take on the world after all.