. . . IS A FREIND INDEED
Johnny and Jack sat quietly sipping coctails at "The Last Stop Before The Gates" bar and grille.  The two had been fairly subdued during their beginnings of the afterlife, until finally Johnny broke the uncomfortable silence.  "I hate you, you fat pig!"

IF I COULD WRITE A BOOK
If I were ever to write a book, I would fill it with scenes where stuff is happening.  People would probably talk, but not necessarily.  Events would take place, and things would proceed from there.  Don't tell anyone though.

WHO IS IT?
The moment after Steven injected his first hit of heroin into his penis, he realized he was in love.  The way the sky turned orange and sang show tunes turned him on to things he never felt imaginable.  Then one day he died.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
In a small town, just outside of N'Orleans, Louisiana, on December 18, 1975, Jeremy Kennedy brought forth upon this earth a new regime.  That regime was quickly shot down due to the sheer fact that he was trapped in the body of a newborn baby, and the lack of ability to speak or comprehend the english language.  But that didn't stop his grand plans.

On March 7, 1992, Jeremy was arrested for looking at Jack Nicholson "kinda funny."  While serving his 3 year sentence, he was approached by many large inmates named "Bubba" all informing him that he was their "bitch."  But, 36 happy months later, Jeremy was released on good behaviour.

Unfortunately, that didn't stop him from taking an active role in the "Cheez-Whiz Massacre" in Trenton, New Jersey.  Fourteen people died that day due to the fact that the butter knives were just a bit too sharp.  Feeling depressed, Jeremy checked himself into "Whizzers Anonymous" to help relieve the pain in his life.  Although initially distressed to find out that W.A. had more to do with urination than Kraft Cheese Spreads, he toughed through the 12 step program and can now Whiz Anonymously anywhere, anytime.

Currently, Jeremy is writing this "About the Author" segment.  Afterwards, he will post his new book on his website and give it to people for free, because that's the kind of guy he is.  His "longtime companion", Bambi, the chimpanzee, enjoys dressing up in lingerie and "pleasing her man" if you follow my meaning.  They have been together for 2 years and have four glorious puppies.